Blue Print Cleanse

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Yep.  I did it again..cleansed that is.  I felt like a million hungry bucks the last time I did it so I decided to try it again.  Since they all essentially taste the same, instead of reviewing the juices like I did for Pressed I did a real time diary of my experience.  Enjoy.

Day 1

5:32 a.m. – Why the hell am I awake?  By no means am I morning person and this is my worst nightmare.  Maybe it is the anticipation of my stomach eating itself is keeping me awake…

8:05 a.m. -  Had a great workout with my personal trainer, maybe I should starve myself more often.

9:01 a.m. – This green juice tastes like a donkey piss smoothie.

9:45 a.m. – I am feeling kinda full.  Not “I just gorged myself on Thanksgiving dinner” full but I’ll be just find if I feel this way for the next few days.

10:30 a.m. -  Mmmmmmm this tastes like a pineapple mojito!  I hate mojitos…

12:23 p.m. – IM STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, I’m not. Yes, Yes, I am.

1:00 p.m. – Donkey piss time.

2:19 p.m. – I would sell an eyeball for a plate of brisket nachos right now.

3:00 p.m. -  Maybe if I just chewed food but didn’t actually swallow it..

4:02 p.m. – Onto the lemon and cayenne – I am having flashbacks to when I did the lemonade diet once…for 3 hours.

4: 50 p.m. – Wow, I never realized that my boss resembles a Mexican pizza from Taco Bell.

5:30 p.m. – Tempted to take a bite of my dog’s food.

6:15 p.m. – Feeling like a vampire, drinking this beet juice.  I’ll chalk it up to my ode to Dexter.

7:30 p.m. – Mercy Target shopping spree – don’t mind if I do.

8:00 p.m. – Trying to save my last juice so I don’t chew my lips off from starvation in my sleep.  Getting a headache though.  Hold out! You can do it!

9:30 p.m. – Cashew, water, vanilla, cinnamon and agave.  Sounds good in theory.  How bad could it be?

9:31 p.m. – HOLY SHIT BALLS. Clearly this is what it would be like if I decided to chug a bottle of chilled vomit.  The texture is just repulsive.

10:40 p.m. -  I can’t take it anymore, time to drug myself and go to sleep.

Taste of the NFL

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Last night I had the pleasure of attending Taste of the NFL benefitting the North Texas Food Bank at the lovely Omni Hotel.  You know, sometimes this whole blog thing really does allow for some wonderful experiences that I may otherwise not be able to have…then again, sometimes I get a bunch of jackasses commenting nonsense about how McDonald’s is better than Parigi and I want to tear my hair out.  Last night, however, was not one of those nights!

After spending an hour stuck in what can only be described as the filming of Fast and the Furious 16 (those who attended will feel my pain), I finally arrived at Dallas’ own Las Vegas lit hotel.  Although the exterior gives me seizures every time I drive by, the interior of the hotel is absolutely gorgeous and completely caught me off guard.  Perhaps I was expecting half-naked ladies covered in feathers around every corner but what I got was the lovechild of Pottery Barn and Zuri.

It is so hard to sum up in writing such an energetic and fun-filled event so I will do my best to just touch on the highlights which, in true Oh Hey Dallas fashion, are mostly food items.

The most notably eccentric and creative display of the night was that of Bob’s.  Literally a truckload of prime rib sliders graced the ballroom.  Awesome? Hell yes.  I want this in my house…plus a chef who will dole these babies out all day.

I found the most delicious item of the night to be Tiffany Derry’s Jambalaya with chicken, shrimp, crawfish, mussels and a whole lotta other deliciousness.  Although it set my mouth aflame, this jambalaya was out of this world.  The Private Social menu terrifies me with its listings of pig face but after tasting this, I just may have to suck it up and head over there for a visit.

A close runner-up was Shield’s short rib grilled cheese.  I’m a sucker for any type of grilled cheese but this tasted just like something from home.  That is, something that I would never be able to make at home, but home nonetheless.

As the drinks kept flowing and Emerald City took the stage, I continued to shove my face at an astonishing rate.  If it wasnt for Tiffany Derry’s rendition of Whitney Houston I probably wouldn’t have realized there was a band playing at all.  Im a girl on a mission, what else do you expect?

Tables and tables of desserts were set up, including the creative geniuses behind @foodbitch‘s wedding cake.  Note to self they make one bad ass smores tart and remember you five years later when you make them do a custom stencil on your cake!

The best dessert of the night was none other than Whiskey Cake’s, well, whiskey cake.  Although I am not typically a fan of chocolate, cake or whiskey there is just something about this dessert that brings me back bite after bite.  A close runner-up to Whiskey Cake was the table o’truffles.  I generally like my truffles of the mushroom family but these were fantastic!  Mmmmm….I am still drooling over the coffee and chocolate truffle dusted with cocoa powder.

Ontop of the delicious food and treats, there was a huge silent auction that occurred throughout the evening at the back of the room.  From Stacy Fawcett‘s OMG Smores to a shiny Louis Vuitton handbag, it was easy to want to bust out the checkbook to help support North Texas Food Bank.  Although my checkbook doesn’t visit Louis Vuitton land, it was fun to look and I am still trying to decide if I was more impressed by the bidding mechanism or the bag itself.

It seems as though is Taste of the NFL is a more discrete and selective Savor Dallas.  Both equally as awesome, just with very different crowds roaming around.  I didn’t see any Dallas Cowboy’s Cheerleaders in uniform at Savor, did you?  From football players, newscasters, local celebrities and us common folk, a good time was had by all.

If one could drunk on food (God, wouldn’t that be awesome), I would have been shithoused after Taste of the NFL.  From lobster bisque to petit fours and jalapeno mac n’ cheese to fondue, the evening was quite a success not only offering delicious bites for Dallas’ beautiful people to try but also raising a good amount of money for North Texas Food Bank!

100 things you MUST consume in Dallas

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100. Fish & Chips from The Mucky Duck

99.  Grilled Avocado Salad from Snappy Salads

98.  Cotton Candy Martini from Four Lounge

97.  Chicken & Dumplings from Norma’s Cafe

96.  Mac Daddy Dog from The Stand

95.  Sushi Pizza from Dee Lincoln’s Bubble Bar

94.  Salted Caramel Gelato from Paciugo

93.  Cheeseburger from Village Burger Bar

92.  Ropa Vieja Tacos from People’s Last Stand

91.  Build Your Own Sandwich from Eatzi’s

90.  Dip Duo from R+D Kitchen

89.  Slap Your Mama Chocolate Cupcake from Trailercakes

88.  Thai Iced Tea from The Mint

87.  Ahi Poke Taco from Velvet Taco

86.  Kimchee Fries from Ssham BBQ

85.  Blue Crab Fried Rice from The Fish

84.  Black Bean Dip from Gloria’s

83.  The Evan from Taco Joint

82.  Smoked Brisket from Lockhart

81.  Chicken & Waffle from Big Mama’s

80.  “The Chaz” from Gandolfo’s NY Deli

79.  Rollo de Canela from Iron Cactus

78.  Larb Gai from Naga Thai

77.  Beef Bone Marrow from Meddlesome Moth

76.  Ahi Tacos from Del Frisco’s Grille

75.  Corndog from Fletcher’s (State Fair of TX)

74.  Duck Spring Rolls from Marquee Grill

73.  Smoked Salmon from TJ’s Seafood

72.  The Gamechanger from SoCal Tacos

71.  Good Karmel from Oh Brownie

70. Wild Mushroom Sandwich from The Greenhouse Truck

69.  Martini Trio from Perry’s Steakhouse

68.  Fried Avocado Taco from Torchy’s Tacos

67.  Muffuletta from Jimmy’s Food Store

66.  Flatiron Steak with Chimichuri from Asador

65.  Roasted Beet & Blood Orange Salad from Hibiscus

64.  Chocolate Chip Cookie from Kessler’s

63.  Iltalchos from Terreli’s

62.  Basil Pesto Loaf from Breadwinner’s

61.  Deconstructed California Roll from Parigi

60.  Burger from The Grape

59. Lobster and Garlic Ravioli from Holy Ravioli

58.  Dumplings from Royal China

57.  S’mores Calzone from Cane Rosso

56.  Skittle Sangria from The Common Table

55.  Ligurian Caesar Salad from Oak

54.  Cheeseburger from Dairy-ette

53.  The Athenian from Pie Five

52.  Cleaver & Block Burger from Neighborhood Services

51.  Blackbird Julep from Tate’s

50. Onion Rings from The Cedar’s Social

49.  Dill Pickle popcorn from Uptown Popcorn

48.  Buffalo Mac Cups from Oddfellows

47. Chicken Biscuit from Hypnotic Donuts

46. Loaded Sweet Potato Fries from Company Cafe

45. Butterscotch Pot de Creme from Neighborhood Services

44.  Pimento Cheese Sandwich from Bolsa Mercado

43.  Fried Pickle Chips from Frankie’s

42.  Sticky Bun from Nick & Sam’s Grille

41.   Chicken & Jalapeno Dumplings from The Common Table

40.  Garden of Eatin’ Omlet from Lucky’s Cafe

39.  Coconut Cream Pie from Original Market Diner

38.  Fried Green Tomatoes from Hattie’s

37.  Bob Armstrong Queso from Mattito’s

36.  Chocolate Covered Strawberries from Chocolate Secrets

35.  Captain Crunch French Toast from Nick & Sam’s Grille

34.  Cajun Pistolette from Cajun Tailgators

33.  Truffle Popcorn from Tillman’s Roadhouse

32.  Create Your Own Ice Cream Sandwich from Pokey O’s

31.  Chicken Fried Steak from Company Cafe

30.  Marshmallow Soup from Rise No 1

29.  Pearl Latte from The Pearl Cup

28.  Seared Ahi Tuna Wrap from Dive Coastal Cuisine

27.  Escargot from Toulouse

26.   “The King” from Trailercakes

25.  Herb Marinated Seared Scallops from Local

24.  Pad Kee Mow from Asian Mint

23.  Pretzel Bread from Prime Bar

22.  Italian Style Crab Claws from Campisi’s

21.  Peppermint Whoopie Pie from Society Bakery

20. Brisket Pie from Baker’s Ribs

19.  Miso Glazed Salmon from Nick & Sam’s Steakhouse

18.  Foie Gras Stuffed Prune from Lucia

17.  Biscuits and Honey from Babe’s

16.  Tableside S’mores from Tillman’s Roadhouse

15.  Wild Mushroom Soup from Palomino

14.  Szechuan Green Beans from FiveSixty

13.  Fried Chicken from Sissy’s Southern Kitchen

12.  Lobster Bisque from Ocean Prime

11.  Olive Oil Cake from Lucia

10.  Spanakopita from Stratos

9.  Cheeseburger from Keller’s Burgers

8.  Peanut Butter Pie from Avanti

7.  Smoked Brisket Cornbread Hash from Smoke

6.  French Fries from Off-Site Kitchen

5.  Lobster Shooters from Abacus

4.  Panko Brussel Sprouts from Oak

3.  Seattle Style Deviled Eggs from Neighborhood Services Grill

2.  ANY pizza from Cane Rosso

1.  Duck Breast with Beets and Blood Oranges from Lucia

On The Border Contest!

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In honor of Cinco de Mayo or as I like to call it, Cinco Margarita day – I have teamed up with On The Border to offer THREE of my lucky readers $50 gift certificates to enjoy some delicious food and to keep this holiday going!

Now, Dallas is jam packed with Mexican restaurants but I must say that I am a huge fan of On The Border!  In fact, I think it is safe to say that I survived high school by only eating fajitas from On The Border.

Enough about me though! How do you enter to win?

Simply leave a comment stating your favorite On The Border menu item AND how you take your margarita (frozen, on the rocks, with salt, no salt, flavored – the possibilities are endless)!

You will be allowed an extra entry ONE time for each of the following:

  • Tweet about the contest (you’ll need to be sure to include your twitter handle in your original blog post comment so I know it’s you)
  • “Like” Oh Hey Dallas AND On The Border on Facebook (let us know in your comment that you did so)
  • Share your favorite recipe that uses tequila in your comment on this post

Get it?  That is up to FOUR times that you can enter to win a $50 gift card to On The Border!  What will you order with your winnings?  Good Luck!

Note: Three winners will be chosen at random using a contest generator on Friday May 11th!

Pressed Juicery

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Self Control.  Two simple words that mean absolutely nothing to me.  I tend to suffer from whatever the opposite of self-control is…gorging?  Nothing pisses me off more than people who have self-control are wasteful.  If there is bread at the table I’m going to effin’ eat it, not send it away.  Are you crazy?!  My half-assed version of self-control would be to not butter the 5 pieces I inhale.

Seeing as it is almost 15,000 degrees outside and everyone and their mom has jumped on the “I’m like totally going to eat super healthy so I look great for summer” train, I decided I should maybe partake.  Let’s get one thing clear, I would rather drop dead than munch on gluten-free, fat-free, delicious-free lettuce wrapped tofurkey dogs with a dirt smoothie on the side.  In lieu of that horrific sounding diet I decided to juice.  Juicing seems to be the next big thing and Dallas, of course, is already starting to be laced with these questionable places. Sure, The Gem and The Juice Bar are delicious but not to live off of.  I think people who “juice” are fucking insane.  Who in their right real-food-liking mind would want to have only juice for days in a row?  Me, apparently.

I like food.  I like it A LOT and my arteries are probably blocked up from sampling all of the delicious cuisine that has taken over our city.  From what I’ve read, juicing is supposed to “bring you back to your natural state of being.”  Oh, is that so?  My natural state of being is watching reality TV with delicious takeout and a glass of wine…this juicing thing should be no problem.

I decided to order a 3-day beginners cleanse from Pressed Juicery.  Apparently Pressed is all the rage in the juicing world and considering our local counterparts don’t deliver to my doorstep every morning – I decided to go with them.  Wait, what?  Pressed Juicery isn’t even in Dallas and you’re reviewing them?  Yes I am.  Several of my readers asked about the juicing and shit so I’m going to give them the low down n’ shit..so tough shit.

Here is a rundown of the 16fl oz bottles of hell that I consumed for 3 whole days.  THREE.DAYS.  Luckily, @foodbitch was doing a different kinda cleanse during this time so we could rage / be extra bitchy / hate life together…only she could consume solids with hers.  The premise of Pressed Juicery‘s cleanse is that you have to drink the juices in a certain order every two hours or so, which they conveniently label the numbers on top of the bottles for you to make sure you don’t get confused…I guess.  In turn, this made my mid-day juice fucking miserable because that’s when I had to choke down “Roots 4.”  Stay tuned..

Greens 2: Although the ingredients list as kale, spinach, romaine, parsley, cucumber, celery, apple AND lemon I realized with just one sip that was a big crock of shit.  I despise cucumbers.  In fact, I actually pick them out of whatever food I am consuming that they happen to ruin.  Yep, I’m the asshole picking the shredded cucumber piece by piece out of my sushi.  Greens 2 tastes exactly like the juiciest, most cucumber-y cucumber in the world.  What happened to the celery? The apple? Maybe the lemon?  They were absolutely nowhere to be found and I’ve never missed the taste of kale so much in my life.  What a way to start the day..one down!

Roots 4: Containing a mixture of carrot, apple and ginger, I made the mistake of expecting Roots 4 to taste light like spring time. WRONG.  This hell hole in liquid form tastes like pumpkin pie on crack and singed my taste buds off in a matter of seconds.  It’s thick and spicy, not in a delicious way.   As much as Greens 2 sucked, Roots 4 didn’t even come close to comparing.  I may hate cucumber, but I hate drinking something with the same consistency as vomit even more.  Seriously, look how this shit separates?  *gag*

Detox 3 consisted of Grapefruit and Mint.  Holy Yum.  Seriously, the only thing missing from this deliciously refreshing gem was vodka.  Something tells me vodka isn’t considered juice but I felt skinnier just drinking this so naturally a few more calories wouldn’t hurt right?   Although I can’t exactly say that I tasted any mint, it was still the most wonderful juice of them all.  If Pressed Juicery didn’t cost an arm and a leg to deliver from Los Angeles, I would stock up on this.  It may be good, but it isn’t worth a $75 shipping fee.

Detox 4: Remember my hatred for cucumber?  Well it still exists, it’s just in the watered down form in Detox 4.  Cucumber, pineapple, coconut water and aloe vera…sounds kind-of delicious right?  If I have to choke down cucumber anything I suppose I’d want it to be this.  I’m sure anyone who likes that vegetable that “tastes like ass nothing” would actually really enjoy this juice.

Almond Milk:  According to my assigned numerical sequence that I was supposed to follow each day this little diddy came at the very end of the day.  This juice is seriously FANTASTIC.  It’s sweet but still light enough that you don’t feel weighed down after consuming pretty much what seems like nothing but flavored water the entire day.  Along with Detox 3, I would drink this on a regular basis if Pressed Juicery ever posted up here in Dallas.

Now, on top of 6 assigned juices a day, Pressed Juicery also sends a bottle of Aloe Vera juice and Chlorophyll with Apple Extract for each day.  Aloe Vera juice is fairly common and tastes just like water.  It is supposed to keep things…errr…moving but considering you are drinking your food for days I’m not sure why …well, you know.  Anyway, moving on to the literal shit in a bottle, the chlorophyll with apple extract.  If you’re curious how this tastes follow these steps: 1) Go to a pool.  2) Make sure they have freshly shocked the shit out of it with chlorine.  3) Bend down. 4) Chug. 5) Repeat until you barf.

Juicing may sound utterly miserable, which it is, but I also felt like I could conquer the world during it.  I lost weight (duh), slept better, had more energy and was happier. If you need to detox or are looking just to not feel like a walking slob kabob, I highly suggest trying this out.

Sissy’s Southern Kitchen + Bar

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Well kids, it has happened – the highly anticipated Sissy’s Southern Kitchen + Bar has opened up its doors on Henderson Avenue.  At first glance, Sissy’s has essentially everything a food slut would like: a well established Dallas name behind the concept, a great location, interior decorations that would make Anthropoligie drop dead and above all else…FRIED CHICKEN.  What could possibly go wrong right?  Welp, we’re not so sure about that one.

Reviewing the menu, there were so many things that made my soon-to-be clogged heart flutter with anticipation, I thought it would be damn near impossible to narrow down our order.  So I did what any sane person would do…ordered everything. No, but really. 

Ya- I said it, here is what a table of …. er, well, nevermind – nobody cares about those details anyway, right?…ordered:

  • Deviled Eggs
  • Squash Puppies
  • Chile Fried Oysters
  • Fried Okra
  • Cream Biscuits
  • Shrimp & Grits
  • Bucket of Fried Chicken (which, I’ll note, came with Mashed Potatoes)
  • Over 21 Cookies & Milk

QUIT JUDGING ME!

Now, if you know me at all then you know that I really effing love apps.  Appetizers usually mean unhealthy shit and the like, so duh, we ordered enough appetizers to murder my intestines with just one glance.  All in the name of work right?  I do this for you, people.

Starting with the deviled eggs: meh.  I had heard amazing things from my reliable friends that these were absolutely a must order.  Now, I don’t know about you folk but I was poor growing up so deviled eggs were considered “fancy” and made an appearance at any family function/holiday gathering or otherwise special event…like a funeral.  I understand that people say this all the time, but I am not a liar like the others so I’ll just continue, my Grandma really makes the best deviled eggs in the world.  Sissy’s aint got SHIT on Virginia.  Regardless of the fact that my Granny could be a deviled egg Michelin chef, I was not impressed with this rendition.  Watery yolk piled sloppily into a horizontally cut (OK, I do love that) egg white and then topped with some caviar, which seems like nothing more than an afterthought.  Sure, they photograph beautifully but I chalk that up to the photographer rather than the food.  Let’s face it: Twinkies photograph wonderfully.  Just sayin’.  I will admit that I would be happy to try these out again in the hopes that the master deviled egg creator was off duty the day of my visit…but I highly doubt that was the problem.

We moved on to the Squash Puppies, surely something that was going to make up for the Deviled Eggs, if for no other reason than the fact that they are fried.  The Squash Puppies are essentially just hush puppies on steroids size-wise.  These things are at least the size of golf ball, which my gluttonous face appreciated.  Unfortunately, I find there are several better options when it comes to “puppies” in Dallas.  It isn’t that the squash puppies were bad, but they weren’t particularly great either. The jalapeno jelly and honey butter that accompany the Squash Puppies are both equally delicious, however, and make up for what the puppy lacks.  In all reality I would order the squash puppies just to indulge in the sauces.  Better yet, I’d like to grab a bottle to keep at home to enjoy it on everything from scrambled eggs to shrimp.

Next up were the Chili Fried Oysters.  I have a love / hate relationship with oysters.  I love them when they are good, I hate them when they are bad.  Sissy’s Chili Fried Oysters are neither good or bad.  Again, similar to the squash puppies – there wasn’t much of a taste to this appetizer.  Although these oysters were nowhere near the worst in Dallas – ehem, I’m talking to YOU Commissary, I won’t be rushing to order them again.  The oysters were over-breaded cornmeal nuggets that seemed to be provided flavor only by the delicious spicy mayo that it is accompanied with.

Seeing as EVERYTHING we had consumed thus far in the meal was battered and fried and we were going to check out the chicken we decided to order a “light” entrée as well.  Cue the Gulf Shrimp & Grits!  Doesn’t this dish look FANTASTIC!?!?!  Welp, it’s not.  For anyone who has visited the Carolinas or anywhere else classified as the actual South, these Shrimp & Grits just don’t cut it.  Sure, it could be the fact that when they came to our table everything on the plate was ice-cold.  Naturally, we immediately sent the dish back and our adorable, retro-clad waitress apologized profusely.  A scalding plate of the Gulf Shrimp N’ Grits arrived in the blink of an eye and all seemed well.  The grits were decent but the shrimp itself could have used some seasoning and tasted like nothing more than boiled shrimp.  This dish by no means deserves the “favorites star” that is posted up next to it on the menu.

And then it happened…..the pearly gates of heaven opened up as I bit into the restaurant’s namesake, Sissy’s Fried Chicken.  Holy %&$#!  This chicken is so good it is almost as if the sins of the past dishes we had at Sissy’s disappeared…almost.  Described as “house spiced, buttermilk soaked and pressure fried,” the bucket of chicken that lay before me didn’t stand a chance.  The masterminds over at Sissy’s found the perfect combination of a masterfully crafted crunchy crust while keeping the meat inexplicably moist.  The meat falls right of the bone and it is clear that this is the restaurants’ pride and joy – it’s mine too.  This may be a bold statement after the shit you just read regarding the other dishes but: Sissy’s fried chicken is 100% in my list of top 10 must-eat foods  in this great city of ours.  You can order dark meat, white meat or a mixture of the two but beware,  if you choose only white meat there is an up charge of $6.  Ridiculous given the fact that the bucket of chicken already costs $20? Absolutely.  It would be nice if that fact was on the menu so we didn’t feel like shell-shocked assholes when our waitress informed us of that little gem.  Let’s be honest though – this chicken is so damn good, it is easy to drown out the fact that your wallet is left screaming.

A 10 piece bucket of chicken is paired with your choice of coleslaw or mashed potatoes.  Personally, I believe there is nothing better than fried chicken and mashed potatoes so if we were going to do it right, we had to go that way.  The mashed potatoes are out of this world.  Skin-on potatoes mashed to only slightly resemble their lumpy selves are sure to make anyone go back for seconds.

Naturally, no fried chicken meal would be complete without okra and biscuits and luckily Sissy’s delivered.  The view of a bucket of chicken, mashed potaters,  cream biscuits and fried okra at our table seemed to round off our uber-healthy dinner nicely.  The biscuits were rather disappointing, so dry they left nothing but the urge to chug my sweet tea down to the last drop.  It would have been ideal if the biscuits were served with a side of honey and surely next time I will be ordering a side of it if I forget to smuggle my own biscuits into Sissy’s.

On the other hand, the fried okra was out of control with its delicious-ness.  The okra is cut lengthwise, offering the full meat of the vegetable to your taste buds.  It seemed as though the same cornmeal breading that was overly used on the oysters graced the okra with its presence as well, however, this time it was the perfect amount.  The okra was paired with an earlier favorite, the delicious spicy mayo which gave those of us wishing for an extra punch of flavor the opportunity to get it.

Why stop there? Sure we had all easily gained 5lbs in nothing but grease at this point but we had to finish off the meal right…right?  Traditional Southern desserts line the menu, making it hard to choose between the mouth-watering creations.  Seeing as we were clearly on a diet, we had to decide on just one to share for the table – the Over 21 Milk & Cookies.  A few homemade cookies of the day paired with brandy milk punch may be my new favorite nightcap.  Although, it would have been nice if our server had let us know what the cookie of the day actually was prior to ordering it, I don’t discriminate when it comes to sweets so the chocolate chip pecan was just fine.  The cookie’s are served warm with an ooey-gooey center that is sure to make you feel like a kid again…er, a kid that drinks.  The Bourbon Milk punch was rockin’ and could easily open up room for a blackout session if a few more had been consumed.  The only downside to this drink was the giant ice cubes that took away alcohol space filed the glass.  In the wise words of my table mate, “when you serve drinks in these tiny glasses with these big ass ice cubes it feels like a ripoff – I can’t even take a mouthful of it.”  Who wants to leisurely sip a cocktail anyway?

So there you have it folks, the Oh Hey Dallas experience of Sissy’s Southern Kitchen + Bar.  If you’re smart and go in simply for the fried chicken, maybe a few sides, a dessert and Sissy’s will soon become one of your regular and most favorite jaunts.  Don’t waste your time with the other dishes that, compared to the outstanding items, seem like nothing more than menu fillers.  Be prepared for a charming experience filled with “bless your hearts” and “darlins” as you escape to a restaurant filled with Southern hospitality.

Potato Potahto

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It’s undeniable that food trucks have stormed the Dallas dining scene street scene.  From tacos to burgers, sandwiches to cupcakes it is hard to imagine any form of creative concept tapping into the Dallas market.  Enter: Potato Potahto, Dallas’ first and only baked potato food truck.

To say I was apprehensive in trying out Potato Potahto is an understatement.  With the hellacious weather that our city is about to face in a few short months the thought of chowing down on a steaming hot baked potato wasn’t exactly appealing.  However, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice – or in this case, a twice baked potato, I do not discriminate when it comes to food unless it is in the form of pig parts.  We all know I have my favorite food trucks out there but naturally want to give the new kids on the block (literally) a chance to impress my taste buds.

I had the opportunity to check out Potato Potahto last week when they posted up in the Arts District during lunchtime on a not-so-humid-perfect-potato-eating-weather day.

I noticed a small table with clipboards and ordering forms outside the truck.  Not paying much attention to the detail on the actual truck since the order forms were right in front of my face, I quickly snatched one up and went to work.  A sweet potato with the special of the day - chicken friend steak, green onions and pepperjack cheese.  Too legit to quit.  I found Potato Potahto’s pricing to be right on point.  $5.50 for a potato with essentially 4 toppings of your choice or $6.50 for a specialty potato.  5 bucks and some change for a loaded potato rather than over 8 dollars for a grilled cheese that takes a half hour to make?  I’ll take it.

In sheer seconds, my potato was ready at the window and at first glance I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into this shit.  It was all I could do to make it back to my desk at work before murdering my potato and it felt like Christmas as I unwrapped my lunch from its to-go packaging.  Wait.  Shouldn’t I see orange?  As in, where the F is my sweet potato?

At this point a small puddle of drool had developed on my desk and there wasn’t a chance in hell that I was going to go back to the truck to correct my order.  Besides, this thing looked banging and who returns a potato anyway?

Admitting my fate, I started chowing down on my lunch.  My first thought was that there is no way that this is what a baked potato is supposed to taste like.  What in god’s name had I been eating for 27 years?  The baked potatoes that I had consumed prior to last week have been a joke compared to this thing.  Not only was the chicken friend steak perfectly seasoned and cooked, but the vegetables were fresh, the cheese ooey-gooey just how I like it and the potato itself was exceptional.  A hint of salty taste encompassed my bites of the potato.  I was overwhelmingly happy that I ended up with the real shit and not the seemingly healthy step-brother, the sweet potato.

Stalking their Facebook page, I noticed that Potato Pohtato has specials for each day of the week.  If you are lucky enough to come across this truck on a Wednesday, I can vouch for the chicken fried steak leaving you everything but feeling disappointed.  Just take a look at this menu, I mean really!  Shrimp jambalaya?  Blue cheese buffalo chicken? GET IN MY MOUTH.

My only critique would be that I wish this glorious menu was posted closer to the window you order at.  I actually had no idea that this was even located on the truck at all until I saw pictures of it on Facebook.  The menu is located on the far left side of the truck and seeing as you order on the far right side, you miss it unless you are walking up from that specific direction.

Thanks to  Potato Potahto, it looks like I now have reason to eat something besides ice and Gatorade between April and October in hell Dallas.  I can’t wait until my next adventure to this food truck and will never again underestimate the power or a potato.