I like food. I love booze. I live in Dallas. Any questions?
A few words to the wise before we begin our relationship…
1) If you don’t get “sarcasm” then stay the fuck away from this site.
2) Honesty is the best policy, especially when discussing things I ingest. So, no hard feelings if you own a bar/restaurant/pub/food truck/bakery and I hate your product. Sorry, I’m not sorry. Maybe you should step your game up.
3) This is supposed to be fun. Don’t take what I say too serious. Wait, pardon me. Scratch that. You need to give me your undivided attention because if there is one thing I know, it’s food.
4) I am a firm believer in bribery. If you want me to visit your digs, give me free shit. Like I said in #2, honesty is the best policy and I wouldn’t want to start this relationship off on a lie now would I?