Things we ate in Thailand.

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Dried fish crackers.

Crazy flavored KitKat’s in Japan. Green Tea, Melon, Strawberry and..flowers?

Pad Thai

Hamster Smoothie.  Okay, not really.  Coconut Shake!

Shrimp Toasts

….seriously delicious.

Panko Chicken Sandwich

Crab and duck flavored chips

Pineapple fried rice

Thai Iced Tea

Catch of the day

Som Tam Salad

Chips on a stick.

Grilled chicken…machete style.

With feet!

Tom Kah Soup

Physalis

Mochi

Thai Coffee

Shrimp balls.  Please note: not the actual testicles of a shrimp.

Nori pasta

Green tea comes in a travel mug for refills!

I am so ashamed that I ate this while in Thailand…but it was quite honestly the best pizza ever.

Avocado Salad

Mochi shots

Green eggs anyone?

So-Cal Tacos

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Cruisin’ the streets of DFW the So-Cal Taco truck, also known as Woody, has a short but sweet motto: “It’s all good.”  Being the cynic I am, I had a hard time believing that it would ALL good…but, it was! 

Unfortunately for my mouth, Woody usually posts up in Slovakia Fort Worth which makes it difficult for this one (me) to check it out.  Afterall, my name isn’t Oh Hey Metroplex, Oh Hey Mixmaster or Oh Hey BFE - it’s Oh Hey Dallas…because I do my best to never leave our city limits.  However, on this glorious day Dallas let our food truck friends who are powered on generators venture into town so I made sure to clear my calendar for lunch.

Naturally, I stalked the menu before heading out and settled on the San Diego Classic, a panko battered fish taco.  Actually being from California it has become clear to me over my years living in Texas that any so-called “California” style fish taco done outside of the actual sunshine state blows.  However, this truck is named So-Cal Tacos after all so I figured I should just suck it up and check theirs out.  Whoa,  Just whoa.  A perfectly sized nugget o‘battered fish is bundled up in a corn tortilla that is so fresh one can only assume that there is a hispanic granny in the truck cranking these suckers out.  Topped off with the classic shredded cabbage slaw and cilantro ailoi the San Diego Classic quickly moved into my #1 taco spot, sorry ’bout it my fried avocado friend from Torchy’s.  All tacos are also served with a lime wedge, an attention to detail that did not escape this Southern California taco snob.

Now, I’m not one for surprises unless they involve diamonds, Lucia reservations or shoes but Woody surprised when I walked up and saw that he was wearing a board full of specials.  My immediate thought was panic because surely I would have to get out of the long line and re-asses what to devour and I just didn’t have time for that.  My roller coaster of emotions was soon justified when I saw that the truck was serving up what they call, Gnarly Nachos. Check please!

The Gnarly Nachos consist of the perfect tortilla chip that doesn’t get soggy, doesn’t break and still manages to taste delicious. What an effin’ concept.  The chips immediately made me hate every other Mexican restaurant that provides you with those bullshit tissue-paper chips that disintegrate before you even touch them. Anyway… these heavenly chips were topped with black beans, cheese, shredded chicken, rice, salsa verde and cilantro ailoni.  The nachos came out just looking like they wanted to be murdered by my face.  I bet you want to lick the screen don’t you?  My dining companion was a little freaked out that there was rice on our nachos and I told her that was a straight Cali thing, yo.  I was happy to see that So-Cal Tacos didn’t let TexMex nation influence their style too much – not that TexMex is a bad thing in the least, it just doesn’t belong on a truck catering to Southern California style food. 

Seeing as it wasn’t noon or anything, we decided an order of the sopapilla fries would have to happen as well.  Yeah, I said it.  Sopapilla fries.  Genius right? Delicate “fries” are loaded with cinnamon and sugar and topped with your choice of chocolate, honey or strawberry topping.  For as gluttonous as they sound, the sopapilla fries are actually really light tasting which is a good thing seeing as those of us gorging on these still had to venture back to the office and pretend to work for the man.

The master behind So-Cal Tacos is Scott Wooley who can be described in one word, groovy.  Don’t laugh.  The word groovy is not in my daily vocabulary but it really is the only way to describe Scott.  A laid back dude with a carefree attitude, Scott can easily be spotted introducing himself and passing out high-fives as he takes patrons orders.  It is clear that the whole So-Cal Taco family loves what they do and I love to eat so clearly we have a lot in common.

As if the awesome food wasn’t enough to get hyped up about.  So-Cal Taco team donates 100% of tips each month to a different charity or family in need.  I mean reallllllly?  To be quite honest, my only critique of this food truck is that they don’t park out front of my work every day.  For reals – go and you will see for yourself how the crew at So-Cal Tacos is keeping it all good.

People’s Last Stand

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A few weeks ago I was invited to a menu release party for local foodies gastrophiles and bloggers at People’s Last Stand in Mockingbird Station.  Now, I wouldn’t say that I am a Mockingbird Station regular (mainly due to the HORRIFIC parking situation) but I do go there often enough to have a decent lay of the land.  Even though I was aware that People’s Last Stand had opened in October I was yet to a) go there and b) know where exactly it was.  Several sources describe the location as “overlooking Urban,” but apparently I took that a little too literally when I stood looking at the roof of Urban Outfitters for about 5 minutes which actually happens to be an apartment.  Who knew.

After my awkward wandering about and several text messages to my blogger friends inquiring about the location, I finally arrived!  People’s Last Stand, otherwise known just as People’s, is actually right above The Pretty Kitty…no wonder they describe their location as “overlooking Urban.”  After I walked in I was promptly greeted by a bubbly girl who handed me a cocktail.  Trying to sort out whether she was a friend of mine or if I was being roofied, I soon figured out that she was actually a cocktail waitress.  Oh.  In that case, can you make mine a double?

Shortly after we finished our cocktails we were ushered to sit down ta long table that the staff had created in a U-shape for us so that they could sit down and explain what all we were eating and the thoughts behind it.  Already resting at the table were several bowls of Maple Glazed Peanuts with Bacon.  As we all know, I don’t touch pig face with a 10 foot pole so as much as the maple glazing intrigued me I couldn’t devour them like I would have liked.  I did manage to fish out a few non-bacon pieces for Food Bitch and I.  These peanuts were effin’ nuts, no pun intended.  The glaze was perfectly flavored to the point where Food Bitch and I brainstormed on them making a non-oinking version.  Order these!

When our first appetizer arrived I wasn’t expecting much.  Don’t get me wrong, I love me some hummus but rarely does it taste all that different at a restaurant (unless you are Common Table) than it does out of a package from Tom Thumb.  After the hummus was placed in front of me, a trio of shot-glass sized cocktail samples did as well. OHHHH sure, get me wasted so everything will taste better!  Let me tell you, one does not have to be wasted to enjoy the hummus or any of the other food at People’s Last Stand to enjoy it.  In fact, I would almost prefer to be dead sober so I could enjoy the wonderful flavors that they draft up in their uber-tiny kitchen.  Mixed with green chili paste this hummus has an outstanding “oomph” of flavor and proved that golden rule of not judging something based on its appearance.  Served with cucumbers, carrots and pita bread this hummus is so delicious that People’s could make a killing by selling it. *Side Note: if Kartik, the owner, decides at some point to do that I demand 5%

Our second course was the Cuban Ropa Vieja Taco.  Never in my life have I heard Food Bitch ”mmmm” at something edible, I mean she is a bitch after all, and she wasn’t the only one making questionable sounds.  After the ropa vieja tacos were served the room was dead silent.  These tacos blow almost every taco I’ve ever had before it out of the water. YES, they are that good.  This is the kind of dish that I would drive specifically to the parking lot hell we know as Mockingbird Station just to eat these.  Served with jicima slaw and guacamole that is surprisingly spicy, these tacos have everything I could hope for and more.  As if I wasn’t already in love with these, we were informed that they are thinking about rolling out a chicken version at some point. 

Next up was the stuffed avocado.  Being a born and bred Southern California-er I like avocado anything.  Mash it, slice it, freeze it, fry it – I could give a shit as long as it is avocado.  Needless to say, I was pumped to try the stuffed version at People’s Last Stand.  Sigh.  Quite frankly it was disappointing.  Baked and stuffed with chicken, cheese and peppers it would be hard to imagine that anything could go wrong with this dish.  I won’t go so far to say that it was bad it just wasn’t great.  There was none of that distinct avocado flavor I adore so much and I definitely didn’t pick up any flavorings from the chicken, cheese or peppers that stuffed it.  Ok, before you assholes who like to nit pick every aspect of my blog say anything, I am very aware that it’s not avocado season. Thanks.  However, if you are bold enough to put avocado on your menu in January then they need to be legit.  Perhaps this dish would be better smothered in homemade salsa or something of the like.

Our next adventure led us to sandwiches.  People’s Last Stand gets their bread from Empire Baking Company, something that I adore and also appreciate.  It’s clear that these guys did their research of the Dallas market and luckily for their customers – we reap the benefits.  I assume it would be hard to make anything that lies between two slices of Empire’s delicious bread suck and People’s definitely doesn’t disappoint.  The sandwiches, although rather pig-facey, were solid in flavor and freshness.  My only critique is that there be a bit more variety when it comes to the meat selections.  Something to note is that each sandwich is accompanied with a horseradish pickle which blew most of my fellow gastrophiles and myself away.  The team at People’s said they searched high and low for the perfect pickle and they sure found it.  All of us who were able to experience the menu release party agreed that every home in Dallas should be stocked with a jar of these.  Not too spicy, surprisingly sweet and crisp – the horseradish pickles are reason alone to order a sandwich.

All in all, the food at People’s impressed me which as we know is pretty difficult to do.  This is a bar that I would specifically drive to Mockingbird Station just to eat at.  For having no oven and no grill, People’s does a fantastic job of conjuring up some wonderful flavors while staying true to their idea.  As Kartik put it, “We could have a lot or we could have a few very good items.”  At this point they are headed in the right direction with more items that I liked than I disliked and as they continue to tweek their menu they have the potential to be outstanding.

Let’s not forget about the cocktails…oh, the cocktails.  Too bad I write about food instead of things that get you sloshed!  That’s what my girl Susie Drinks Dallas does best.  If you haven’t given People’s Last Stand a try yet, whether it be for cocktails or food, you should.  Those tacos STILL have me daydreaming…

What kind of blogger would I be if I didn’t share the good AND the bad?  This past week I happened to be with some friends who weren’t lucky enough to be invited to media night so I suggested that we go over to People’s Last Stand so they could see just how awesome it was.  Well, I now look like a liar.  My second visit to People’s didn’t even come close to comparing to the first which was beyond disappointing.  The anticipation of craft cocktails and ropa vieja tacos had me feeling as giddy as a 26 year old 5 year old on Christmas morning.

I was happy to see that People’s had a decent crowd considering the location and as we sat down I immediately started suggesting some of the delicious cocktails that I was able to sample previously.  To make a long story short:  I was with 2 other people and therefore we ordered 3 drinks.  One drink came out 20 minutes, T.W.E.N.T.Y., before the other two.  Ok, what the fuck?  Isn’t the whole point of drinking alcohol to get shitfaced socialize?  It is pretty difficult to enjoy casual drunken conversation when one person is done with their drink entirely while the other people at the table nurse water.

Another disappointing aspect was the fact that we had to remind our server twice about our food order.  Now, I don’t mind waiting for my food but that food better be those damn tacos and not the hummus we ordered.  Hummus.  Any restaurant or bar that takes longer than 5 minutes to pour some hummus in a bowl and arrange some stale pita around it has an issue.

I hate that I have to rant given the fact that media night was just.so.awesome. but I would feel like a total asshole if y’all went to People’s expecting the glory that I mention in the main post and end up with the shit that I talk about down here.  Sure, some days restaurants just aren’t “on” and that is OK, but not when there is such a drastic change in experience.  Something that I personally think separates the men from the boys in the service industry is consistency.  If patrons have a hell of an experience one time and a horrible one the next, that’s an issue.  Sorry ‘ bout it.  I do suggest hitting up ol’ People’s to establish your own opinion.  My second visit clearly didn’t deter me too much considering I am armed with a Groupon and ready for round 3!

Mr. Mesero

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If I could say only one thing about Mr. Mesero it would be: BLEH.

Venturing over to this fairly new Knox/Henderson neighborhood spot for lunch I had no preconceived notions of Mr. Mesero.  In all honesty I would actually say I was a little put off going into my visit seeing as THEY HAVE NO WEBSITE.  How am I supposed to scope y’all out?  WTF!  Some of us (me) like to menu stalk before going to a restaurant to ensure that we aren’t out-ordered when our visit finally happens.  I don’t even care if they put their prices – if its delicious it can cost whatever it wants.  A fucking monkey could build a one-page website that displays the restaurant’s menu for Christ’s sake.  I mean…I have a website, clearly it’s not that difficult.

Seeing several mixed reviews of Mr. Mesero, I wanted to form my own opinion and not rely on Scott Reitz, or Yelp (eek) for that matter.

Pulling into Mr. Mesero’s spot I immediately rolled my eyes and cursed the fact that I decided to go here immediately after reading this gem.  Thanks, City of Ate.   In their defense, valet is sort of the only option at Mr. Mesero due to its ill placed location and 10 spot parking “lot” - besides, it is free which rarely happens in this town.

If you have never been to Mr. Mesero or any of the restaurants that previously occupied 4444 McKinney Ave, let me just tell you that the space is shockingly tiny.  Not tiny in a “wow, this is so exclusive” way.  It’s tiny in a “I guess we have to go to lunch at 10am so we can get a table” way.  Personally, I think this space would work better if it was like a nail salon or a momofuku.  Enough about me, let’s get to the goods, or in the case of Mr. Mesero – the not so goods.

Although Mr. Mesero is not technically part of the M Crowd, Mico Rodriguez has taken quite  a few aspects from the cult-follwing restaurant Mi Cocina.  For example, the chips.  Just like Mi Cocina, Mr. Mesero serves up those wretchedly tasteless corn chips.  Maybe it’s the fact that they are, afterall, chips or maybe its that we all mindlessly munch on them just because they are in front of our face – but they really aren’t good.  The chips at both places have a burnt taste to them, the only difference between the two restaurants is that Mr. Mesero serves theirs up disk-shaped.  Hey guys, the shape doesn’t improve the taste. 

In hopes of making the chips not suck, my table ordered the classic guacamole.  Classic guacamole = spicy at Mr. Mesero.  I love me some spicy food but after taking a heaping dip of guacamole I was shocked that there was no warning.  Maybe I’ll refer to the menu to see what ingredients they used…oh wait.  The guacamole was decent I suppose but nothing I would go specifically to Mr. Mesero for.

For my entree, I ordered up the “Mexicana.”  It was ordered out of sheer peer pressure and it was a  bad idea.  I should have taken the lesson that my mother taught me years ago: don’t cave into peer pressure.  I don’t care if it pisses everyone at your table and the waiter off but make sure you really assess the situation before making any rash decisions when it comes to food.  The Mexicana sounded like it could have potential seeing as it was one brisket enchilada and one chicken enchilada.  Negative.  What showed up at the table looked more like a blood soaked plate than lunch.  In my book the only food that is allowed to look unappetizing is hummus and chili, the end.  Perhaps I would be able to forgive the visual Mexicana disaster if it was actually good, which it wasnt.  The general consensus around the table was that all of our meals fell flat. 

Trying to make amends with our taste buds we decided split a dessert which, at the urging of our waiter, was the chocoalte flan.  I think this is the first time in my life that I allowed dessert at lunch, minus Trailercakes which is excusable at any time of the day.  It is pretty safe to say that the best part of the meal was the chocolate flan…..and I don’t even like flan. gulp. Chocolate cake topped with flan with sea salt and caramel drippings.  At any other restaurant I probably would have hated this but it was the newly identified “Mr. Mesero good.”

All in all this was a more than disappointing experience.  From mediocre interior to mediocre food – we wont be returning to Mr. Mesero ever in the near future.

Company Cafe

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I’ve heard a lot about Company Cafe in the past but I try to avoid going on Greenville Ave unless I’m hammered so a visit to this organic gem didn’t seem to be in the cards for me.  That is until they opened their second location right off the lovely Katy Trail in Uptown.

Although Company Cafe has set up shop right next to my arch-enemy, Uptown’s very own hell hole Katy Trail Ice House, I figured I had to venture over there and try them out.  My first (and second) visit to Company Cafe was about a week after their Uptown location opened.  The teeny-tiny quaint dining room was shocking and immediately sent a sense of unease to my brain-”Holy fuck, this place is going to be so crowded come Spring.”

I was not-so-pleasantly surprised by the fairly small menu that greeted me upon my visit.  For all the pump up talk I had heard about Company Cafe it didn’t seem right that there were only 11 items on the lunch menu and that includes salads, appetizers AND entrees.  Better hope I’m not in the mood for something in particular!

Driven by a friend’s blatant order suggestion that I try the loaded sweet potato fries to start, I knew that that was a given. I was a bit hesitant because the word “loaded” to any non-pork eater automatically means “topped with pig face.”  Luckily enough, one of my dining buddies doesn’t eat that shit either so we got it on the side.  Apparently on the side at Company Cafe means a ginormous bowl.  I dig it. Deliciously sweet fries topped with just the right amount of melted cheese and jalapenos convinced me almost immediately that my friend who had suggested them was Einstein. (Don’t get too excited @cjconner1)

Seeing as I wasn’t exactly on a health kick the day of my visit - my fellow foodie and I decided to share the Chicken Fried Steak.  A heaping plate filled with battered top sirloin, sweet potato mash and green beans quickly arrived at our table.  I couldn’t wait to dive face first into the jalapeno-honey gravy drenched chicken fried steak…and I fucking hate gravy.

Although my last-meal-if-I-was-on-death-row-list is the hardest ticket to get in town, I’ve made an exception for this chicken fried steak.  It is cooked wonderfully and accompanied with sweet potato mash that is the envy of any at home-chef with how smooth and creamy it is.  The sautéed green beans are standard but nice to see such a simple vegetable on a seemingly heavy dish.

Something I really appreciate about Company Cafe is how their menu, although uncomfortably small, varies depending on the meal time.  Seeing as I’m not a huge breakfast person, my second visit to the restaurant clearly had to be dinner.

Sticking with the fried theme from my first visit I ordered up the Chicken & Waffles.  Fortunately for most of you carnivorous Texans, chunks of bacon and jalapeno are mixed into the batter itself.  Seeing as I’m not one of you people – the bacon aspect made me want to shove my face in a toilet rather than onto my plate, so my waffles consisted of jalapeno only.  A delightfully fluffy and rather spicy, well duh, waffle came topped with crispy chicken.  Fried just like the chicken fried steak in olive oil, the crunch of the batter is just perfect.  Not to mention it is gluten-free! Although the chicken itself was rather bland, the spice of the waffle and the sweetness of the maple syrup that accompanied the dish made up for that.

My table also ordered the Chicken Pesto Risotto which was like a Caprese salad on cRaCk.  Creamy, sticky risotto was topped with a large slice of semi-melted Dallas mozarella, sun-dried tomatoes and chicken breast. The risotto was a tad bit under-cooked but it had cheese on it, and cheese makes everything right in the world.  I could have used a little more pesto mixed in, but then again I essentially use an entire jar when I cook pasta for one.  This dish would be perfect with red pepper flakes mixed in and although I didn’t ask for any – I will be sure to bring my own secret stash next time!

We also ordered The Company Burger.  This burger was exactly what you would expect if you were a kid again and Dad was grilling burgers in the backyard.  A misshapen patty topped with gooey cheese on a fresh bun tastes just like home (unless my mother is cooking).  Not only is the burger delicious but it is also accompanied with, dare I say, Dallas’ BEST  sweet potato fries. You can make The Company Burger double pattied, a Buffalo burger, a double Buffalo burger and/or get it on a gluten-free bun.  Not only is there meat and bun options, you also get to pick from their various farm-fresh cheeses.  These include blue cheese, cheddar, goat, parmesan, feta, mozarella or queso blanco. #Winning. (I hate myself for just writing that).

Although my dinner at Company Cafe was delicious I was really looking forward to inhaling their braised short ribs.  Unfortunately they were out of them when I went which wasn’t brought to my attention until I actually ordered it.  Service fail.  On the upside, I am looking forward to dining at Company Cafe again soon and they better make the short ribs extra delicious - they owe me.

Pie Five Pizza

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I love food.  I mean I really, really love food.  Rarely do I turn down the opportunity to eat delicious food, let alone try out a new restaurant.

When I was contacted by Pie Five Pizza with the offer to try out their latest location of North Central Expressway I, of course, accepted in a heartbeat.  Now, just because someone offers me some free food doesn’t mean that a) I’ll try it or b) I’ll enjoy it.  Willing to take a chance, Pie Five sent me a few vouchers so that I could check them out anyway.

At Pie Five Pizza you can choose from one of their creations or customize your own personal sized pizza.  Their website boasts that there are over 5 million combination possibilities.  Sounds like a challenge to me.

Intrigued by the concept, a self-proclaimed “Subway of pizza,” I stepped into the restaurant right off Knox and 75 South for a much-needed calorie boost while Christmas shopping.  Believe it or not, I am not the human version of the Grinch.

My first observation was that the menu posted on the wall behind the counter was fairly small and hard to read.  Granted, I am quasi-blind so I’m sure it isn’t difficult for some people to read but it was for me and I’m the one who counts here.  Not only is the text small, it’s also white writing on a black board which is hard to read regardless of the size of the text.  Thinking to myself, “Hmm…guess I’ll be creating my own pizza considering I can’t read shit” the young girl must have sensed my confusion and promptly asked if I would like their signature thick crust or thin crust.  Whoa, I get to choose my crust? Hell.Yes. I went with thick, le duh.

Creating my own pizza turned out to be quite the experience because not only did I get to pick which type of crust I wanted to enjoy but chose the sauce as well.  Yep, I said it.  Pie Five Pizza has several sauce options to choose from including: alfredo, spicy diavalo, garlic and of course, traditional marinara.  Not wanting to stray too far off course – I decided to go with the traditional.  After all, I wanted to be able to judge what most would consider “normal” pizza and making my pizza with alfredo sauce would already give Pie Five a major leg up.

Sure as shit there are several topping options, living up to their “Subway of pizza” proclamation.  Double sure as shit I stood confused as hell just like I do at actual Subways trying to dream up the perfect flavor combinations.  On this particular visit I went with a Hawaiian-like pie and my dining companion went with….every topping possible.

One of the best things about Pie Five Pizza is the steroid-infused oven.  This sucker perfectly cooks your pizza in 5 minutes or less. While I waited for my lunch to be served I perused the immaculately clean dining room.  Too often restaurants who focus on being “quick” end up being messy because of the high turnover (gross) but not here.  The floors had recently been swept, there wasn’t an ounce of trash on the empty tables and the beverage station was as clean as could be.  I could give a rats ass if I’m eating at Jack in the Box or Stephen Pyles, that bitch better be clean.

A mere 4 minutes after placing our order, two gorgeously baked pizzas arrived at our table.  Diving in mouth first, I was immediately impressed with how fresh everything tasted.

I’ll admit it.  I am the ultimate crust whore.  Nothing pisses me off more than people who don’t eat the crust of their pizza.   I have not and will not ever understand “those people.”  Luckily for me the thick crust at Pie Five was delicious and could rival some of the best pizza places in the city.  It was  just thin enough to not feel like it was all bread but still thick enough to feel like I was actually eating pizza. I wasn’t particularly impressed with the thin crust but then again that shit is a bit too healthy for me.  No matter where the pizza is from, thin crust tastes like someone took a fat dump of toppings on a cardboard box.

Something else I noticed while inhaling my lunch was that pizza boxes were readily available at the counter and in the dining room itself.  Such a simple gesture that means so much.  It is always annoying having to ask for a box for your leftovers but at Pie Five you can just walk right up and grab your own and be on your way.

Some of you may say that I am partial to Pie Five because they let me try them for free.  For those of you who say that, I say Fuck You try them out for yourself and see how awesome it is.

In the time that it would take you to call up a pizza delivery place and wait for your pizza, you could get your ass in the car and drive to Pie Five build a delicious creation, get home and eat it – All for a little over $6.  I mean really….is there any question which is the better option?

Del Friscos Grille

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A lot of my fellow foodie friends have blogged about the new Del Frisco’s Grille.  Unfortunately for me, most of them were invited to their pre-opening day press dinner .  I’m pretty pissed that I wasn’t invited because not only do I like to eat for free but my witty sense of humor is always a real treat.

Although I was full of rage, the pictures I saw of their food couldn’t keep me away for very long.  In fact, the food looked so delicious that I only invited people who would eat a lot to join me when I went so we could eat until we puked.

Del Frisco’s Grille was packed out when we arrived – something I like to see at any new Dallas restaurant.  I really do want to see everyone in the restaurant business succeed…ok, that’s a lie.  If you fucking blow and I hate you, I don’t want you to succeed because you are wasting space of a potentially amazing other restaurant.  Like I was saying, Del Frisco’s Grille was packed and even though we had reservations we still had to wait for at least 20 minutes to be seated.  I can’t particularly say I appreciated that but what I did appreciate was the fact that the bar is 3 steps from the hostess stand and there was a Kilt Lifter cocktail waiting to be drunk by me.

Once we finally sat down, I was STARVING, not that that is anything new for me. We immediately asked our server which appetizers he would suggest and without hesitation he said the Jumbo Lump Crabcake and Asian Chicken Dumplings.  Dumplings? No thanks, this isn’t Panda Express.  Crabcakes? Twist my arm!

Now, if there is one thing I hate it is  when a restaurant serves a crab cake.  How awkward.  I don’t care if it is so delicious that it cures cancer, when you put one crab cake on a plate (and charge $16 for it) that immediately turns me off.  The only time serving one crab cake is permissible is when it is in between two pieces of bread and disguised as being a sandwich.  Anyway, the jumbo lump crabcake was fine – not exactly something that I would suggest as being a must try if I was a waiter but that could be why I don’t work there.  There was quite a bit of crab meat and hardly any breading which was nice, but it is a cake after all - a little bit of breading would be nice.  The cajun lobster sauce tasted nothing like lobster or…cajun.  Strike 1. 

Giving a mental “go fuck yourself” to the waiter I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands.  I went ahead and ordered the Ahi Tacos, Deviled Eggs, Cheesesteak Eggrolls, Pimento Cheese Fritters, Pulled Roasted Chicken Flatbread and a Roasted Tomato Flatbread.  WHAT? There were 10 4 people at our table after all!

The Ahi Tacos were everything I’ve dreamed of and more.  Fresh ahi that was wonderfully…raw.  The plump and juicy meat was mixed with avocado and topped with spicy citrus mayo.  To make the situation even better, all off these goodies came in  a delicious fried wonton shell – as if anything could suck when it comes in a fried shell.  To add to my obsession, the ahi tacos came in a mini taco holder.  Strike 1 was dismissed.

I was a little confused when the deviled eggs arrived at our table.  I could have sworn that we ordered the regular deviled eggs, not the ones that looked like they had green diarrhea on top.  Although the presentation was horrifying, the deviled eggs themselves were delicious.  The filling was extremely smooth and overflowing out of the egg white.  Atop the egg was a truffle-chive vinaigrette which didn’t have much taste at all – disappointing since I love me some truffles. All in all I did enjoy the deviled eggs but would hesitate in ordering them again just because of the way they are presented- Barftastic!

Next, it was time to criticize sample the Cheesesteak Eggrolls.  Like I said earlier, it is really hard for something to be shitty when it comes in a fried shell and these were no exception!  I don’t really have much to say about these because I’m 99% positive this was the point I started to fall into a food coma.  What I can say is it tastes like a cheesesteak sandwich, rolled in a tube and fried and therefore there I can’t even come up with the slightest bit of negative feedback.

Not to be deterred by my food coma, I pressed on.

The pimento cheese fritters were my next victim.  These were disgusting. This just may be the first time in my entire life that I actually hated something that was fried.  All this time I thought that you could fry up a ball of poop and I’d like it but nay, Del Frisco’s Grille found something worse and its called a pimento cheese fritter.  Isn’t a fritter supposed to be flat?  These were balls.  Pimento cheese explode-in-your-mouth balls.  The fried part was great (duh), it was the slurpy surprise inside that was repulsive.  And the sauce? Chipotle Ranch my ass.  Ugh, I can’t go on – I’m starting to dry heave.

Last but not least it was flat-bread time.  We ordered the Pulled Roasted Chicken first and it was so fantastically delicious that we ordered the Roasted Tomato- you know, something “light.”  Not too big and not too small, the flatbreads are perfect for sharing or can be a meal of their own.  I wasn’t particularly impressed with the Roasted Tomato as it tasted like a sub-par margherita pizza you can get from any Italian-esque restaurant. On the other hand, the pulled roasted chicken was absolutely insane – in a good way. Thinly sliced red skinned potatoes and pulled chicken rest upon a deliciously light layer of goat cheese.  I really appreciate the crust of Del Frisco Grille’s flatbreads - too often flatbreads arrive too thin and the crust practically falls apart.  Not here! They have found the perfect combination of thin crust and serious pizza!

Unfortunately, I either seemed to love or hate the items we tried.  Oh well, different strokes for different folks right? Fuck that. This is MY blog so what I say sucks – sucks!  Out of the laundry list of items that we sampled during our visit to Del Frisco’s Grille I would come back again and again for the ahi tacos and the roasted chicken flat bread.  These two items in particular are absolutely fantastic.

Oh, and for the people of Del Frisco’s Grille, I’m sure everything tasted delicious on press night…you know, the one I wasn’t invited to? Please note.