Dee Lincolns Bubble Bar

Let me start by saying this, I really do not have a good time writing negative reviews.  With that being said, I promised my loyal readers the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

I’ve been to Dee Lincoln’s Tasting Room & Bubble bar a few times and believe I have a pretty good idea about this place now.  From the get-go I’ve had a qualm with the prices and service but after visiting for restaurant week, I decided it was time to write a less than positive review.

I will say that once you step into Dee Lincolns you are instantly transported to an exclusive East coast lounge which for me, is a positive.  The decor is beautiful and your social status feels as though it was boosted enormously as you shimmy past the hostess.  Unfortunately, I think there was perhaps too much focus on the decor than their actual staff and menu.

Believe it or not, Dee Lincolns Tasting Room & Bubble bar is a full service restaurant, schizophrenic menu and all.  Now, I’m all for culinary creativity but not when there is no theme whatsoever.  On my previous visits I always ordered the sushi pizza which is amazing.  No really, fresh ahi tops a perfectly crispy rice crust which is actually unique in this bubble we call Uptown.

My experience during restaurant week was so disappointing that I will most likely not be spending my money on the $15 cocktails or, sigh, the delicious sushi pizza again. It’s not that the food was horrible but it wasn’t the best either.  However, the staff sucked.  In fact, they were fucking terrible!

Upon arriving, we were seated promptly and our waitress was over in no time taking drink orders. Well, DUH.  Considering the cocktails are so expensive the staff are like dogs in heat trying to get you to order one three.  My whole table decided on the set restaurant week menu which, oddly enough, didn’t reflect Dee Lincoln’s regular menu.  Isn’t the point of restaurant week so patrons can come in and try the food that you normally serve? Mmmk.

I chose to start the night off with the spicy tuna tempura roll, which was delicious.  Dare I say, it rivaled the top sushi restaurants in this city of ours.  The flavor was impeccable and the greens that topped the roll were a nice touch.  The heirloom tomato gazpacho also graced our table during our first course.  Although I don’t care for cold Classico tomato sauce gazpacho, the members of my party thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the stuffed shishito pepper that topped it off.  After our first course my table was feeling good about the night, Dee Lincoln herself even stopped by to introduce herself and was as sweet as can be.  Alright, alright, so maybe we wouldn’t be able to get slammed without spending $100 on cocktails but at least the food would be legit right? Hmm..not so much.

I ordered the pan-seared salmon as my main which was decent.  Nothing to write home about but nothing that made me want to slit my wrists with the butter knife either.  The salmon needed a little taste booster and that’s when I noticed that there was no salt or pepper on any of the tables. Odd, but forgivable.  What’s not fine is the fact that when I asked Xena Warrior Princess our waitress for a knife and some pepper she said, and I quote, “we don’t have any knives right now.”  Wait. What?  I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that Dee Lincoln’s doubled as a Crate and Barrel and being out of knives was even an option.  As the sheman walked away she barked “I KNOW ABOUT THE PEPPER” over her shoulder.  Rawr!  And no, we never did get any salt or pepper for the record.

I tried several bites of the risotto carbonara which had the same impact on me as the salmon did, that is, until a giant piece of plastic was found in the mush.  Eaw. Clearly, we let our waitress know immediately and she apologized profusely (good girl) and asked if the patron with the questionable dish would like another drink while she waited for a new dish to be prepared.  I’m no rocket scientist but usually when a restaurant has foreign objects in their food, something ends up getting comped, AS IT SHOULD.  My friend was turned off but was a good sport about it and watched the rest of the table chow down while she waited for her new dish of risotto to arrive, sans plastic.

She waited….and waited…then waited a little more for good measure.  Our table was finished with their food when her cooked rice risotto arrived again.  In all fairness, she ate it and did say that it was much better this time around.  If only restaurants had rewind buttons…

As the mood of the table had clearly shifted, we hesitantly ordered our third course, dessert.  I ordered the lemon tart which was a huge disappointment.  I may have not gone to culinary school but I know food well enough to know that a tart isn’t a differently shaped croissant.  I’m pretty sure a tart…should be a tart.  This so-called tart was more like burnt phyllo dough shaped like the star of David, with some berries on top. Fail.  The cheesecake was, however, delicious.  The presentation couldn’t have been better and it was a fairly large portion for just one individual. It was full of crust, just how I like it (bring on the carbs!) and was topped with moist cheesecake and fresh berries.  Pass.

I understand that every epicurean experience isn’t going to be orgasmic and honestly I may have just put Dee Lincoln’s in my “meh, if someone invites me I’ll go” pile UNTIL the bill came.  My table mate who had had her food so rudely violated noticed she had been charged for her plate-o-plastic that she had not only sent back but had also waited an unacceptable amount of time to get her re-do plate.  Alright, well since it was restaurant week and some of the money from the meal goes to charity she decided to pay-but you better believe we were all biting our tongues in the meantime.

It gets better..Remember that time our waitress asked the plastic-in-my-food patron if she wanted another cocktail while she waited for her new dinner? She was charged for it! What. The. Shit.  We will be silenced no more!  When we asked why she was charged for the cocktail after the waitress offered it to her, the waitress had the audacity to say “umm, I don’t have the authority to give you a free drink.”  A free drink? A free drink!?! Excuse moi bia-tch but there was plastic in the food and it took three hours to eat shit dine!

To apologize the manager came over and offered to get us into the Dee Lincoln’s Bubble Bar at Cowboys stadium the following day.  (We had tickets, don’t worry, they aren’t that kind).  FINE! Even though I hate you right now we were all about getting a little wasty face while rooting on the home team.  We left the restaurant with our heads held high thinking our experience at the game would more than make up for the shit we went through this particular night.  It probably would have been, that is, if the manager had actually answered her phone come game time!

Peace, Love, Calories

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