I like food. I love booze. I live in Dallas. Any questions?
A few words to the wise before we begin our relationship…
1) If you don’t get understand sarcasm then this probably isn’t the place for you. I cuss, I’m snarky and that’s the damn truth so, no hard feelings if I’m not your thing. It’s not me, it’s you.
2) Honesty is the best policy, especially when discussing things I ingest. So, no hard feelings if you own a bar/restaurant/pub/food truck/bakery and I hate your product. Sorry, I’m not sorry. Maybe you should step your game up.
3) This is supposed to be fun. Don’t take what I say too serious. Wait, pardon me. Scratch that. You need to give me your undivided attention because if there is one thing I know, it’s food.
4) I am a firm believer in bribery. If you want me to visit your digs, give me free shit. Like I said in #2, honesty is the best policy and I wouldn’t want to start this relationship off on a lie now would I?